Day 157: Feeling anxious, stressed and under pressure is NOT normal

Today I woke up feeling anxious and I went into the experience of anticipation, thinking that I had forgotten to do something or that I had forgotten something somewhere the day before. There was also dissatisfaction by thinking that I had not been as good or that I had done some mistake the day before.

Then I stopped the thoughts and asked myself: Why am I perceiving me as capable of doing less than who I am? Why am I automatically distrusting my ability to do everything at the best of my ability and to not forget stuff? Why am I creating this anxiety in my own body?

The answer was: I am the only one who can stop the judgments, the automatic anxiety, and the thoughts that feed all of these automatic reactions. I am the only one who can forgive myself and let go all the unsupportive mind of old habits, ideas, fear and self-distrust.

I got up, I slowed myself down through breath and I forgave myself out loud. I forgave the thoughts, the imagination, and the scenarios in my mind that were justifying the anxiety and stress. I restarted the day, stable and in self-awareness.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed the feeling of anticipation within me and to believe that this feeling is real.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to imagine situations (often the worse case scenario) where I have forgotten to do something and to react even further to these thoughts. I see, realise and understand that by feeding the thoughts I am continuing the cycle of reaction-thought-reaction that creates additional anxiety inside myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge me when I forget things and to punish me mentally for it, instead o seeing that the reason why I forgot things is that I am busy in thoughts (thus not present in the moment 100%) in the first place, and to assist me to learn from this mistake to not repeat it again.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that feeling anxious, stressed and under pressure is normal and that this is the only way I can move myself to do things.

So,

When and as I see myself feeling anxious and under pressure based on the anticipation that I have forgotten something or that I am late, I stop and I breathe.

I see, realise and understand that the energetic response of reaction does not support me/my body and that it is not a solution for me to remember things or to move myself. I see that the thoughts of anticipation are automatic behaviours based on old habits and memories that no longer exist here and that now I am fully responsible for doing things/creating my life differently.

When and as I see myself feeding the feeling of anxiety and stress with imagination about what I could have done "wrong" or forgotten to do the day before, I stop and I breathe.

I see, realise and understand that whatever happened the day before I cannot change it, however I can change what I do with the remembrances of it and I can also take responsibility for doing things differently from now on. I also realise that who I am in relation to my reactions is also my responsibility so instead of going into stress and pressure I commit myself to be the solution to myself: if I have forgotten something, I learn from it and I proactively find a solution to start applying now.

When and as I see myself judging myself for whatever I have forgotten to do or for thinking that I wasn't good enough the day before, I stop and I breathe.

I see, realise and understand that these self-judgments are lies that I tell to myself automatically to feed self-distrust and that feed the stress, anxiety and anticipation.

I commit myself to stop the cycle of energetic responses inside myself and to trust my ability to stabilise myself through breath, through slowing down the mind and by stopping feeding the thoughts that justify the anxiety and stress within myself.

I remind myself that anxiety, stress and pressure are not who I am and therefore I commit myself to not allow automatic mind reactions to take over me/my direction/my decision to stabilise myself and be present.

I also see, realise and understand that the more aware and present I am, the more I am able to do things fully and therefore prevent thoughts of self-doubt, anxiety, stress and pressure within me.