DAY 132: From Planning to actually Doing

I am noticing a pattern within me of planning an ideal scenario in my mind (the positive) but ending up becoming frustrated with myself when things go in a different way (the negative polarity). This is manifested in the big decisions that I take in life, whereby the panning of it was of immense enthusiasm and dedication but, when the time comes to walk the decision, I am not allowing myself to be stable and consistent in my application. Many of these projects take years to complete, such as building a specific career or in becoming fully comfortable in speaking another language. Walking this Process, a career path, or any decision is an accumulation of actions done throughout a period of time, so imagining things done or ready from one moment to the next is not realistic.

In many of my points and experiences, I notice that there is a resistance to be stable and consistent in my responsibilities. I tent to jump from the plan to the idea of how I would like the end-result to be.... Obviously there is a gap in between, which should be filled by the process of walking the decision practically. In addition to that, in order to walk the decision unconditionally, I must also let go the desire of finishing something because I have not even started! Instead of hanging myself to the hope and imagination, I can enjoy much more if I walk each action at a time, adjusting, correcting, testing and perfecting myself in my actions.

I can see this pattern manifested in my sports lessons, whereby I imagine the end of it rather than being present/moving myself in each exercise. I tend to imagine the relief of finishing the exercise without realising that I am separating me from my reality and making the exercise much difficult to myself.

The other point then comes up, which is self-pity, because I accumulate plans/best scenarios but I am not able to fully live them and complete them with the same enthusiasm as when I planned it. Therefore, I must align my relationship of planning and creating in order to support myself.

So,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how things should be or how I would like things to be, and ending up living in an alternative reality and attached to the idea of "potential" but without  actually living what is here. I realise that by holding myself back to the idea/image of how things should be, I miss opportunities to see the common sense, to create what is best for me and for others in a given situation, and to reach my optimum potential in everything I do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make things harder for myself by wanting to focus on many plans at the same time, rather than applying my time effectively into the decisions that I have decided to walk and to walk them completely.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to have resistance to follow a schedule or a plan of action that should be used as a self-assistance. I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to blame the schedule and the plan for the pressure for the pressure that I am creating to myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with the thoughts of wanting to give up and by comparing myself to others to either feel good or better about myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to limit myself when it comes to walk a decision, as if the motivation during the planning was not here anymore. I realise that planning is not based on an energetic motivation but  it is simply a self-supportive guide for my own actions and commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage the things that support me the most, such as my studies, my process of writing, my daily job and my communication with people, by going into the thought that I am lost and that I should be doing something else. 

I realise that these thoughts are not real and I commit myself to focus on what is here, on that which I can do in this moment to support me to live the common sense, self-correction and the principle of self-honesty.

So,

When and as I see myself thinking that I am losing track of certain plans, I stop and I breathe.  I assist myself and I commit myself to align my time to my priorities and to make sure that I am consistent in all of them, without procrastination. If I see that some plans or tasks need to be postponed or adjusted, I commit myself to be clear with that decision inside me in order to prevent any self-sabotage of unnecessary pressure.

When and as I see myself participating in the positive energetic impulse of planning something in the mind-future, I stop and I breathe. I realise that nothing will happen if I don't move myself in this physical reality and make things happen for and by myself.

When and as I see myself holding back to an image/projection of a plan that is not longer feasible or realistic, I stop the mind and I breathe. I look into the image/projection and I assess if the starting point of the plan is still the best for me and how can I change the plan in order to reflect my own process of change.

I realise that the optimum potential is not an image, but is a state of being in everything I do and I speak.

Therefore, I assist and support myself to stop the image of the completion of a task (being it at work, in my studies or in sports), and I support me to be aware of each moment of breath, of each decision, of each body movement and action, considering that the process of walking the plan will depend on the accumulation of my actions in every moment.

Instead of placing/limiting my attention into the projected future in the mind that is not supportive, I commit myself to be focused on my actions and on who I am in each action. I realise that planning is based on a direction and in principles that are the best for me that I apply into my actions. Therefore, I stop creating/participating in the images of how I want things to be and, instead, I start looking in common sense at what is Here and I dedicate myself to create real-time solutions, in Self-Direction, Self-Responsibility and Self-Change.